So my summer holidays has been annoyingly shorten due to unforeseen circumstances.
That was well annoying but now that I've got absolutely nothing on my hands, I feel weird not doing anything productive / knowledge gaining. Mind you it's been only 2 days since my exam ended - why can't I just relax and not think about anything.
I am such a weird person.
So now, a new goal is required and that might be to actually get fit.
That's not much of an educational goal but, still a goal, right.
The only problem is that I am perched in Singapore currently - where the food's sick. Dieting is obviously going to be a massive chore and also, I'd hate to be a wet blanket when I'm out with my friends all 'I dont want to eat'.
I will eat in moderation and exercise and I'll be fine... I'm a fuckin worry wart. I'd admit it.
On a more serious note tho, a lot's been on my mind and it's sad how I've got no one to tell things to because simply - I've got no one to tell things to. I do per say, friends, best friends, best female friends and ooh, boyfriend. But I've been problem free for so long that it feels odd opening up again. Like, I imagine them thinking 'Where's all these coming from?' 'Must be the this / that / whatever recent life changes' Because people are so prone to associating things too quick, massive fallacy. Or maybe they're right, I'm just not admitting it. Also I don't say anything because I don't want to get judged. Some things are best left unsaid. Most importantly, I don't want to hurt. Rather me than them right, I love them too much.
I just wouldn't have any problems if I had a goal. If I knew what was going on. If all these ifs will stop popping in my fuckin brains. If if if if .
Might be hormonal changes due to current change of medication. Meh, maybe.
Also I can't stop thinking about how I was told that I was 'Second to her'. Bitch please, I'm second to none and you don't come and hurt me when I've done absolutely nothing (Recently, obviously) to you. Second? Why am I even thinking about this? I am most definitely not second so you can fuck right off. I might not be first anymore but you don't have to rate me. I am nothing to you, so don't rate me. Do I look like I was standing in line for you? No. So don't rate me.
This massive lack of endorphins is making me very upset so it's about time to run.